


Cafe Cafe

by hartxstarr



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25921684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hartxstarr/pseuds/hartxstarr
Summary: A series of separate but interconnected drabbles all taking place under the same roof. A coffee shop AU.
Kudos: 5





	1. What are they doing now?

**Author's Note:**

> Laptop guy—that's what Lavernius calls him.

The click-click-clicking of his keyboard seemed unreal—like his fingers were flying across his laptop with a mind of their own; type-type-typing away until the noise became a certain brand of unbearable that it tricked Lavernius into thinking the argument happening two booths down sounded a lot more interesting. That is, until he realized that it was about whose fault it was that something-or-another happened—and the conversation was too far along for him to understand any of the nonsense that was being said.

But then the stranger’s coffee arrived and Lavernius turned his attention back to the stranger behind the laptop and watched as he didn’t even pause for breath as he continued typing with one hand and picked up his drink with the other and brought it up to his lips to take a sip—and instantly pulled away with a grimace and the tip of his tongue sticking out.

It was only then that the stranger’s eyes strayed from his screen to send a death glare at his little white cup; audibly setting it down and acting for all the world like it personally insulted his mother or something.

 _He burned himself,_ Lavernius laughed quietly to himself. _What kind of an idiot is he?_


	2. You wanna talk about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He'll have one of this, and one of that, and this one too, but he's not the one paying.

_“—Sarge is gonna kill you!”_

“Sarge won’t kill me,” Dexter was so preoccupied by shoveling his tower of pastries into his mouth that Richard was only twenty-percent sure that he was actually being heard. “Whose going to take inventory if I’m not there?”

“Me! _I’m_ the one always taking inventory! You _never_ take inventory. I’ve never _once_ seen you take inventory. I’m always the one doing all the hard work!”

“You’re right,” Dexter took a moment to observe the remainder of his plate. “You do all the _hard_ work. I do work, too. Just less work. _Easier_ work.” He seemed to have found what he wanted and picked up another sweet before going to town on it.

Richard crossed his arms. “What work do you do?” 

“Important work—“

“You just said easy work.”

“—like taking out the trash.”

“That’s not work!” Several heads were turned as Richard shot up from his seat. “That’s just wasting time! We’ve had this conversation before!”

“No,” Dexter said around a mouthful of jelly, _“You’ve_ had this conversation before. _I_ was taking out the trash.”

“Stop taking the trash out so much.”

“Okay, Dick.”

_“Stop calling me that!”_


	3. Okay, here's the deal—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laptop guy.

_Fuck coffee, I hate this god-awful shit. Why did I even get this? Why do I even waste my time coming to this horrible place? I don’t even like coffee!_

_Why am I here? I could be someplace else!_

_I can be someplace else._

_There’s nothing stopping me from walking out the front door. I could do it right now. I can leave._

_I can fucking leave._

_I’ll do it. I’ll fucking do it. I’ll leave right now._

_Shit, is that a typo?_


End file.
